Hello out there

[LanceTMiller]

Most of you guys on this forum know me or know of me. For those that don't this will be a long and somber, but hopefully humble and humanistic introduction.

(TLDR Version) I've been away, but not turning my back on the industry. Felt like UC became competition, stopped posting. Went broke, Had to Move, Started hating my art, Fell into a depression, Didn't know I was in a depression, Gave back to the community in non-art related ways, Realized I needed to stop making excuses for my art, started 365 day art project, been creating art daily and been getting better, Not back to 100% yet, but definitely in a better place mentally. Still plan to make and sell decks moving forward. I love the community and would rather your friendship and support than your money.

I've been away yes, but I haven't turned my back on anyone. I think it's about time that I start getting back into the swing of things, mainly just by becoming part of the UC community again in general. First though, I want to share some thoughts about where I've been, what I've been doing, and what I hope to do in the future.

There was some concern that I "turned my back on the community that helped me and encouraged me" (Walrus, I'm citing you specifically here because we used to chat a lot and I saw numerous posts where you said this more recently). I'm sorry if it felt that way, but I didn't turn my back on the community, I just changed the way I was engaging with it. When BMPokerworld bought the UC, I no longer felt right posting about my decks or projects here because it felt like it was competition. It was a professional courtesy and yes I could have said something to you guys but there was much more going on than you can imagine.

At about the same time the UC came under new ownership I had to make a big decision. After receiving the B&W Actuators and the subsequent distribution of 95% of the product, I started getting emails and messages on the forums. People were saying they weren't recieving my packages even though I'd mailed them, or that they were getting stuck in customs and that I needed to mail more, or that the product was damaged (This was rare as I was very meticulous in packaging). Anyway, I was doing my best and trying to make everyone happy, but then I ran out. I ran out of money, I ran out of resources, I ran out of patience, and I ran out of time. My wife had begun deciding that her job was unsatisfying and it was paying way too little and she felt like it was time to move on. We had to decide whether we were going to stay in Nashville fighting to survive or if we were going to move to Cincinnati to live with her mom and try to recover. Well then the USPCC called and said that I had an outstanding debt with them on the project even though they'd already delivered the product and even though I'd been on site 2 weeks prior to delivery and paid them outright exactly what they told me to pay. Well that was the straw that broke the camel's back so they say. My wife and I had no choice but to move. We could not go on living in Nashville with that debt and others looming over our heads and no real income to speak of.

Moving by itself is difficult. Moving to a new area with no job prospects and with no friends is even more difficult. We spent the first few months just trying to rewire our brains and look for jobs and do anything we could to keep from going stir-crazy. I don't want you to think that this is a sob story and please don't pity me. That's not what this is about. I'm just painting a picture here so you can see what's been going on to understand a little bit about what it's been like. Anyway, luckily my wife found a job in her industry and began making a living wage. It wasn't much but it was enough to begin making payments and keep some of the money-hungry collectors at bay. I was trying to make art specifically for decks but I was beginning to detest the industry and that took a heavy toll on my spirits. I noticed that some decks that were hitting KS were an absolute joke, and yes I'm aware that my initial design for the Actuators was an absolute joke. This may make me seem like a mean person but some of these decks shouldn't be seeing the light of day. The ones I'm speaking about are being perpetrated by get rich quick schemers that couldn't design their way out of a paper bag. That may make me sound rude, but those are my feelings and I can't change my feelings. Anyway, it got me thinking, if these decks are being pledged on, maybe my decks aren't as good as I thought they were because people pledged for them too. Then I started seeing artists like Jackson Robinson and Lee Mckenzie take the stage. Well, those guys work blew me away and I started telling myself that this community deserves the best and I'm not delivering it. I can do better.

In the meantime I began thinking about other ways I could give back to the community. I started consulting with Paul Carpenter from Encarded and David Goldklang from Vanda, and yes, much to the dismay of others I was consulting with Robert Butler about how to get him back on the straight and narrow. I was also pouring a lot of attention into my FB groups that I manage (Lance Miller Cardistry Group, Lance Miller Magic Group) and trying to give back by teaching people how to use cards. I even began teaching Phil DaCosta about Art and Design and consulting with him on his deck design ideas. I was working with young fantasy artists and kids that wanted to be doing what I was doing and I would encourage them all to learn traditional art. Then I realized if I'm going to be teaching anyone art I need to get better at it myself and stop making excuses.

So began my long soul searching journey into how to be better at art. Daily I'd wake up thinking that I'd find some tutorial or video that would "unlock" my real potential. I looked up how to be better at art, how to create stunning art, and how to create art that leaves a lasting impression. I won't say those searches were fruitless, but I was looking in the wrong direction. It wasn't until I watched a video called "3 Ways to Art More Better" that I realized I'd been wasting my potential, not because I wasn't creating awesome decks of cards, but because I wasn't doing art on a daily basis and I lost touch with what I loved about art in the first place. The ability to move someone emotionally via art is a powerful thing, and I'd been taking it for granted because I was lost. I had been in a depression for almost 8 - 9 months and hadn't even realized it. Then I decided I would break the depression and claim my skill, I'd get better and keep moving forward as I always do. It was also time to reclaim our financial situation. So, for the past six months I put my wife and myself on a strict budget with the intent to be completely debt free (aside from student loans), by July. So far, we're doing great.

After I realized what was going on with my depression and actually identified it as a depression, I began reconnecting my brain toward art and I created a blog a little before the New Year with the goal of making art daily. I'm happy to say that, as of this post, I've created art and blogged about art 56 days in a row. It only takes 30 days to form a habit and art is now a habit. I absolutely love it and while I'm far from satisfied with my skill level, I am attacking my problem areas and getting better. The goal of the blog was to literally challenge myself to create art for 365 days and for it to pertain specifically to Fantasy and Concept art. Little did I know that was just the beginning. I started hanging out with the folks from the conceptart.org artists group and after only a couple of days they pointed out that I was really lacking in the basics. I didn't understand form, values, perspective, anatomy... all the things that allow an artist to be confident in the things they create. I had none of them. So I started paying attention and learning each of these things and blogging about it and while my blog maintains the title I created, it's become much more about me learning art in general and then applying it to Fantasy and Concept art instead.

Anyway, if you don't already know where my blog is I encourage you to come be part of the journey just as you did with my decks. Here is the link to the blog: http://fantasyart365.wordpress.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

In the mean time, I want you all to know that I love this community dearly and that I still have deck ideas and I still want to print and sell them. However, I wanted to make sure that I was right with myself before I attempted any projects again. I wanted to make sure I was debt free, so I could assure everyone that their pledges would be delivered appropriately, I wanted to make sure that my art was solid so that you all could really own something worthy of your praise, and I wanted to make sure that this community would have the Lance they all expect and deserve.

You are welcome to ask any questions and I will answer them truthfully and straight forward, no matter how much it may hurt. I want you all to be assured that I am and always have been a member of this community and that that your friendship and support means so much more to me than your money.

[LA Karnival]

Welcome back lance! It's great to see you back here in unitedcardists!
I love your bicycle actuators design and I am looking forward to your projects!
Cheers!

[MagikFingerz]

I was hoping you'd return, Lance. Good to hear you're doing better

[LanceTMiller]

Thanks Guys. Glad to be back, and sorry for the long winded re-introduction.

[Mike Ratledge]

Excellent, Lance! So good to see you back here, we've gone through a few growing pains, but things that have happened in the past have been corrected, or at least as best I can. Thanks for coming back to join us here at UC!

I popped you back into the "Verified Designers" group, by the way.

Lance, is the "Absinthe" deck already done, or going to be done (kickstarter or otherwise)? If it is, where? I've looked... I've seen that it won a prize in a design competition, but other than a couple of cards (the red queens, as I recall), I haven't seen much.

[LanceTMiller]

Thanks Mike, and thanks for adding me to the "Verified Designers" group again.

To answer your question about the "Absinthe" deck, it is unfinished at this time. The two other ladies that I have chosen to immortalize as the queen of diamonds and queen of clubs respectively both don't know they have been chosen and their SO's are doing a terrible job of getting me photo reference. As such I hadn't started any of the other cards, (aside from the non-court cards) because I wanted to get the queen concepts finished and proceed from there. Currently the three cards that have been executed for this project are the back design, the queen of spades (concept only), and the queen of hearts (concept only). I say concept only because I am developing the concepts in my typical graphical style, but the final renderings will be digitally painted and have a lot more form and value.

As to whether or not they will go on KS, i'm not certain yet. I may be looking for other distribution opportunities so that I can stay focused on creating new and exciting decks rather than getting wrapped up in the administrative tasks that seemed to bog me down previously. As always though, I'm glad to keep everyone informed of the progress and invite anyone who wishes to become part of the journey.

[Mike Ratledge]

It's great to have you back, Lance! I hope you come by regularly both to let us know what's going on in future releases as well as to participate in the forums

[ivan]

Hi Lance,

Welcome back!

What a journey...! Hope to see some of your ideas here soon on UC.

[CBJ]

Welcome back Lance!

You know that I have nothing but respect for you.

I look forward to what you will bring to the market!

Jay

[LanceTMiller]

Thanks Ivan and Thanks to you CBJ. It has been a long journey, but it's far from over and yes Jay you have stuck by my side the entire way and for that I am grateful as well.

I can't wait to show you guys the new ideas I have and the new ways that I'm approaching my art.